Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Is this a joke? Or just a(n) horrible pun?

A young, gifted but impoverished actor is auditioning for a part in a cheesy flick along the lines of 'Gone in 60 Seconds' - let's call it 'Burn this Mutha Fucka', or 'Your mother sucks tail pipes in hell' - you get the idea. As to race, let's not even go there. No racism here. How could you even think it?

He is brought by the casting director to a movie studio back lot where there are three cars parked with clear cinematic intention.

The first is a way souped up something or other with a Chess theme going on, all black and white with freakin' awesome decals of kings, queens, knights and all that shit happenin'. Allroight! Chess...rawwwks! not...

The next is a super cool whatever the fuck is a cool way fast chick impressin' open top machine with a somewhat incongruous bowling theme; decals of pins, balls and all the other bowling nonsense - but it is a kick ass red metallic widow-maker of a car.

The third car is splendidly decorated with the most stylish and fanciful depictions of the house of cards imaginable, kings, queens, jacks, aces, hearts, diamonds, clubs. All beautifully wrought by hand. The paint work visible beneath the exquisite decoration is sadly the rusting brown shell of a '93 Honda.

The casting director gets into movie mode and rapidly, heatedly asks the actor:
"You're a car thief, you've got no time to lose, you need the fastest car, but it also needs to be the fastest car to get into, and you gotta hot wire it in seconds flat cos the cops gonna cap you like this" he says firing a starter's pistol and making the actor jump a couple of feet in the air - "which one?" he repeats stacatto.

"That's the one I'd jack" he says pointing at the...

I had fun thinking it up. But maybe I was just remembering something from elsewhere. Are they copyrighting jokes nowadays? Is there a JWAA - Joke Writer's Association of America?
I dedicate this joke to my brother!
There must be many more 'I'd' jokes out there.

But what brought this up in my mind was an image of a little flash movie of GWB's face morphed into that of Marlon Brando whipped brutally by Karl Malden. Screaming in pain. Yes. Why not? Whatever these deceased actors would have thought about this current regime, I think it very likely that they would have deplored and objected to these terrible inhumanities perpetrated by this government.
So can someone make that youtube movie for the world? It would be like an aspirin. Temporary relief from a whole heap of pain and misery. But it would get a point across.

How can I mix jokes and serious issues? Because I can - and life is like that...

Dub is like that...
I'll figure out how to tag this later. Kinda weird!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Derek Sivers of CD Baby sounds off on piracy

Derek Sivers sounds off on Piracy and gets it right in my opinion - he even manages to be funny about it!

"More people are killed by pigs than sharks each year, but because shark attacks are more newsworthy, they seem more prevalent. Piracy gets all the attention, but I don’t think most of you in this room have lost more than $30 to piracy.” (I got a big “Booo” from the audience for this.) “Obscurity is your real enemy. Fight obscurity until you’re a household name, then piracy will be more of a problem than obscurity. Until then, worry about pigs, not sharks.”

can't break out of the block quote thing here - may need to do the wordpress thing...

I just had a thought about this. Derek makes the unfortunate use of the 'household name' thing implying that that is what one should be about. Wrong! Make yourself known, but to the people who want to know about you. Isn't the world in general sick and tired of pathetic creatures with no talent at all and all of the money backing to make them household names? Derek is rather conservative it appears. But at least he is willing to change. I'm not partial, but piracy is indeed here to stay and unless something better is offered, the music industry will fade. Not a problem for me. I'm just one of those fools who does it because he loves it...

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Joy Division Limited Edition Zune (!!!!)

Is there any point in asking what Microsoft were thinking when they came up with this shite idea?

It might interest them to know the origin of the band's name. Would they still be pulling this deluded marketing stunt if they knew this before hand?

I'm surprised MS haven't heard from the ZioNazis (ADL, AIPAC, Abe Foxman etc.) about this and been slapped on the wrist...

Apart from that, Joy Division are hardly a likely choice for this purpose. Much as I liked them at the time - and still do on occasion, I don't think I would want to associate my music player with the gloomy, suicidal isolation of Joy Division's music - particularly not the ultra miserable and horribly produced by Martin Hannett 'Unknown Pleasures' album.

Stuff like this just baffles me.

I can only hope someone will reveal that it is a hoax!

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Shut Up! Dub

Over this weekend I have had the very gratifying experience of working on a dub version of the Monks' track 'Shut Up!' Some might consider this an unlikely choice for a dub treatment, but based on the recent successful dub rendition of the Seeds' 'Pushin' Too Hard' it is not much of a stretch. 'Shut Up' is a truly great moody track, somewhat dark and negative and very minimal in every respect - ideally suited to a Dub rendering. And where better to do so than ACEtone Studio? Indeed, who else would bother? When this 'Shut Up Dub' is all mutated and mixed I'll post a link for your listening pleasure, confusion, bewilderment, outrage, or otherwise...
Loving the Dub, every minute, every hour, every day, every week, every Ear...

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Adios Torrent Spy

Ars Technica ran this obit recently...

Rock Steady Documentary

Many of the great Rock Steady producers, singers and musicians have already passed on but it looks like they are assembling a good enough collection of those still living.

The musicians who are flying in for the film, album and concert, are singer Dawn Penn (No No No) from London, singer Hopeton Lewis (Take it Easy) from New York, and guitarist Hux Brown (The Dynamites) from California.

They will be joined on stage and in the recording studio at Tuff Gong by the legendary singers who still live in Jamaica: Ken Boothe (Shanty Town), Judy Mowatt (Silent River), Stranger Cole (Morning Train), Derrick Morgan (Conquering Ruler), Leroy Sibbles (Equal Rights), Marcia Griffiths (The Tide is High),The Tamlins and U-Roy (Stop That Train).

I thought U-Roy was no longer with us...and it was Keith and Tex who performed the great 'Stop That Train.' Desmond Dekker (Daicres) was the singer on '007 Shanty Town' - maybe Ken Boothe also has a song by that name or covered it (?). The 'Tide is High' is by the Paragons when John Holt was with them.

Well regardless of the dubious journalistic accuracy in this brief report from the Jamaica Observer, if they make a good job of it, this documentary could be great. It would be especially interesting and vastly more entertaining if they could involve some of the less well known but often more talented artists in this project.

Such as, Leonard Dillon (Ethiopians), the Melodians, Keith and Tex, Pat Kelly, the Gaylads, Lynn Taitt etc. Some of the more obscure artists from Joe Gibbs stable for example would be really great to include: Errol Dunkley, Keith Blake (aka Prince Alla), The Pioneers, Neville Hinds, Roy Shirley, Dennis Walks, Jackie Robinson, Eric 'Monty' Morris, Hugh Malcolm...
Sadly, Jackie Mittoo, Tommy McCook and Delroy Wilson, some of my all time favourites are permanently unavailable...

The brief Rock Steady period in Jamaican music is one of the richest veins of musical creativity in any culture and despite its short run its many astoundingly prolific exponents went on to be the great performers, musicians and producers of the reggae period and beyond. A truly golden era which richly deserves a fitting documentary tribute.

Piracy is OK!

This pokes a finger in the myopic eyes of the MPAA!

“People today have all this equipment available at home, and it’s a simple thing for them to copy movies and music. This is the time to play on the same team as the ones who make available this kind of materials. I hope those who watch this copy will think the quality is bad, and go watch it at the movies instead.”

Link Between Software Piracy and Terrierists?

I think not. Who buys pirated software, be it music, films, apps or other? One would need to be technically and technologically backward and pretty stupid to do so when it is freely available. Is this a deliberate effort to conflate file sharing with piracy of yore when physical property changed hands my means more foul than fair? Is this yet another effort by government to control dissemination of information, and by doing so keep the people ignorant, fearful and compliant?
But then Ars Technica has this angle on the speech which I should really read...