Thursday, December 3, 2009

Gasp! Big Shiny's MySpace page has been terminated!

I've heard of this happening to people before and I'm sure it happens all the time. The e-mail from the subtle people at MySpace admin reads:

Your MySpace account has been deleted for violating our Terms of Service.

This is usually due to one of the following:

* Nude images, sexually suggestive or violent photos
* Covering our banner ads with HTML
* Harassing other users
* You do not meet the minimum age requirement
* Spamming the classifieds, forums, bulletins, or other sections of the site
* Attempting to artificially inflate scores
* Scripting the site

Your account cannot be restored. If you choose to return to MySpace, please follow the rules.

My reply reads:

Hmmm. I really think you are wrong about this. I don't believe I violated any of your terms.
Certainly nothing you listed.
I think you should re-instate the account.

There is more than one Big Shiny incidentally! Three that I'm aware of.

There were no nude images, sexually suggestive or violent photos (do you have any I can borrow?)
I don't recall the banner ads being covered or if they were it was completely accidental as I wouldn't know how to do that on purpose
I never harass other users, never have done, never will! Certainly not on the internet
If for some reason one needs to be **, then yes I'm underage by a couple of weeks
I never spam and don't know how to do any of the other stuff listed.
I wouldn't even know how to inflate 'scores' nor do I even know what 'scores' means
I don't know how to script

Still, no big deal. MySpace is pretty embarrassing...

Sadly, it is a no reply address at MySpace (received Mailer-Daemon failure notice) so it just bounced back to me and they will never know how terribly, terribly mistaken they were in their callous termination of one of the most beloved of MySpace pages, nay, the darling of all the internet and its all encompassing tubes, pipes, nano-arteries and dump trucks.
Where will the children play? Where will the downtrodden seek sanctuary wherefore to relieve their downwardly mobile troddeness? Verily, I
(what! I'm not giving tunes away for free anymore? Totally forgot about that! So buy the album or a tune or two!)

This termination is a travesty and an outrage and an insult to the toiling multitudes, a slap in the face of the great unwashed and a cordial invitation to the opening of the floodgates of myriad plethora of cliches, timeworn truisms, jerry-built gee-gaws and internet memes heretofore unseen and likely a detriment to the cognitive dissonance of the commonweal, post-interneticly, nervously sweatingly, conjectured by many respected authorities, to be a travesty and and outrage...
When cornered and pressed (diced, starched, peeled, marinated, stewed, A/Bed) on this issue Doctor Gealach Moore, museoanthrophilologolist, said predictably; 'It is indeed a travesty and an outrage'

Seriously though, some of this Big Shiny stuff is still so damn good. A pity it is so ignored!

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